Relationships are an integral part of our lives, offering us love, companionship, and support. However, they can also be complex and, at times, challenging. Couples often face moments of uncertainty where the path forward isn’t clear. This is where discernment therapy becomes a valuable tool. In this article, we’ll explore how discernment therapy aids couples in making informed relationship decisions and provide you with an understanding of its benefits and process.
Defining Discernment Therapy
Discernment therapy is a counseling approach specifically designed to help couples who are unsure whether they want to continue their relationship. Often, couples find themselves at a crossroads, with one partner leaning towards separation and the other hoping for reconciliation. Unlike traditional couples therapy, which focuses on working through issues together, discernment therapy helps each partner gain clarity about what they truly want.
The Goals of Discernment Therapy
The main objective of discernment therapy is to help couples make thoughtful and informed decisions about the future of their relationship. It doesn’t focus on solving all relationship issues but rather on providing a safe space where partners can explore their feelings, thoughts, and concerns. Here are some specific goals:
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Helping partners gain clarity about their individual desires and needs
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Assisting in understanding the issues that brought them to this point
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Evaluating the potential of continuing the relationship
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Providing a structured process to contemplate the next steps
How the Process Works
Discernment therapy typically involves a limited number of sessions, often ranging from one to five. During these sessions, the therapist meets with the couple together and individually. This approach allows the therapist to gather insights from both partners while offering private time to each individual. The overall process can be broken down as follows:
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Initial Session: The therapist introduces the process and determines whether discernment therapy is appropriate for the couple.
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Individual Sessions: Each partner shares their perspective, concerns, and desires with the therapist separately.
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Couples Sessions: The therapist facilitates discussions where both partners can express their thoughts and listen to one another.
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Decision Making: Partners work towards deciding whether to pursue separation, continue the relationship, or try couples therapy for a fixed period.
The Role of the Therapist
The therapist’s role in discernment therapy is pivotal. They are not there to sway the couple’s decision but to guide them in exploring their feelings and options. A skilled therapist creates a non-judgmental environment that encourages open communication, helping each partner articulate their thoughts more clearly.
Importance of Individual Insights
One of the unique aspects of discernment therapy is its emphasis on individual insights. It’s common for partners to have conflicting or even changing emotions about the relationship. By having individual time with the therapist, each person can reflect on their hopes, fears, and expectations without the immediate pressure to compromise or agree.
Considering Different Scenarios
Throughout discernment therapy, couples are encouraged to envision different scenarios. What would life look like if they decided to part ways? How would choosing to stay and work on the relationship feel? Couples counseling intensive sessions might follow if they decide to work things through together. By contemplating these scenarios, partners can better understand the implications of their choices.
Handling Relationship Betrayals
Betrayals are some of the most challenging issues that couples face. In situations where trust has been broken, discernment therapy can also incorporate elements of betrayal therapy. This helps the couple identify and process feelings related to betrayal should they decide to continue their relationship.
Benefits of Participating in Discernment Therapy
There are several benefits to participating in discernment therapy, even if it ultimately results in separation. Here’s how it can be beneficial:
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Informed Decision-Making: Couples have the opportunity to make well-thought-out decisions about their relationship’s future.
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Improved Communication: Even after short therapy, couples often experience better communication skills.
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Personal Growth: Individuals gain insight into their emotional responses, leading to personal development.
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Future Relationship Preparedness: Whether staying together or parting ways, discernment therapy prepares individuals for healthier future relationships.
Determining the Suitability for Discernment Therapy
Discernment therapy is suitable for couples who find themselves at a standstill in deciding whether to stay together or separate. It works best when both partners are open to exploring their emotions and honest in expressing their desires. However, it’s not intended for situations involving abuse or where there’s no willingness to communicate.
Potential Outcomes of Discernment Therapy
The outcomes of discernment therapy can vary widely, but they primarily revolve around three paths:
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Separation: Some couples decide that parting ways is the best option after fully considering their feelings.
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Commitment to Work on the Relationship: Other couples choose to give their relationship a renewed effort, often opting for regular therapy sessions afterward.
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Decision to Delay Final Judgement: Occasionally, couples choose to take a break before making a final decision, giving them more time to ponder their feelings.
Supportive Environment for Decision-Making
Discernment therapy offers a supportive environment where couples can openly express their emotions and thoughts without fear of judgment or conflict escalation. This safe space is crucial for enabling thoughtful decision-making rather than decisions made out of anger or impulse. Couples who undergo discernment therapy in St. Louis often express relief, as having these structured conversations can be freeing and enlightening.
Exploring Emotional Landscapes Together
In discernment therapy, both partners are encouraged to delve into their emotional landscapes. Doing so facilitates a deeper understanding of what each person needs from the relationship. In many cases, this exploration brings to light issues that have been ignored or buried over time. Addressing these can lead to revelations that profoundly impact the decision-making process.
Final Thoughts
Discernment therapy serves as a guiding light for couples navigating the turbulent waters of relationship decisions. It provides a structured approach to clarifying each partner’s emotions, exploring future scenarios, and ultimately reaching an informed decision about the relationship. Whether couples choose to separate or commit to working through their issues, the insights and communication skills gained through discernment therapy can lead to personal growth and healthier, more fulfilling relationships in the future.
